Lovely bunch of…. tidbits

one-lovely-blog

 

I usually do not participate in blog awards, but I love ROB (and his awesome blog) so much, I gave in and decided to nominate some of my other favorite bloggers as well!

Here are the rules:

  1. You must thank the person who nominated you and include a link to their blog.  (done)
  2. You must list the rules and display the award.  (done)
  3. You must add seven facts about yourself. (done)
  4. You must nominate other bloggers and comment on one of their posts to let them know they have been nominated. (almost done)
  5. You must display the award logo and follow the blogger who nominated you. This award has no restrictions as to who you can nominate. (done)

Alrighty!  Here are 7 facts about me.

 

1.  I love cheese. My nickname as a kid was mouse, because I loved cheese so much!

2.  I love gardening for many reasons, mainly feeding people and sharing things from my ever growing garden, I also have realized the only plant I don’t kill are food!

3.  I wish I was not so “busy” all the time, my hardest challenge in my life is to just sit still!

4. I love sci-fi action stories/movies/TV shows, things like Once upon a time, The Neverending Story, Dark City, and Lord of the Rings/Hobbit series.

5. I only really listen to country music. I like all genres and listen to other artists, but I am a country girl at ❤

6.  I eat raw/vegan about 50% of the time

7.  I don’t always feel like updating my blog, so that is why I make a weeks worth of posts in one day sometimes

 

Now, onto the fun part, nominating bloggers.  I’ve met some awesome bloggers over the last 8 months, and I think that they have great things to say.  I know that you’ll enjoy reading their blogs as much as I do.

 

AlwaysThinkingI’mFat

TheBetterManProject

FightingTheFlabFor30

LightInaGlass

KindnessBlog

TheGoddessWeighsIn

JourneyToAfter

OptimisticKid

Food : Relationship -vs- Power Struggle

The last few months have been emotionally and physically challenging on this journey I started a little more than 6 months ago. Honestly, I am not where I wanted to be at this point, but I have made progress which is better than standing still.

I injured my right leg twice, pulling my Iliotibial Band, flaring up my Sciatic nerve in the process. This left me out of the gym for multiple weeks and a bit depressed about delayed process. Through this time my power struggle with food returned.

In my constant change in my relationship with food I have come to know, my connection with food has always been more of a power struggle, than a relationship.

Last night while laying in bed I had this epiphany, or “ah ha!” moment about my childhood, which I never attributed with any connection to food before now.  While I attribute these childhood issues to my relationship with food, I in no way blame anyone else for the choices I have made around food and my body. I love my family and know they did the best they could, even with their faults. This is not about blame, this is about how I got to where I am in order to move forward.

As a small child I was pretty emotional, having what some would call over exaggerated feelings or emotions. I was very sensitive, not only to my own feelings but had a heightened sense of what others were feeling as well. I felt like these feelings were mine and part of who I was, and was surprisingly content with them.

I came from a family of people who were not emotionally available and treated me a certain way in hopes that I would not continue to be this way emotionally. But the truth is, changing the fact that I had feeling was not possible and the power struggle I began to feel within myself about who I was and who I felt like others needed me to be, also became part of who I was and carried over into my relationship with food.

My relationship with food seemed normal to me, but to others it was problematic. No one discussed why, but solutions were often forced onto me.

I remember being put in a medical weight loss program in the 5th grade and I never remember being asked if it was something I wanted, it was just something I needed to do. It had become clear my weight and relationship with food was now a family problem. My truth about that, is I was easier to focus on, rather than the other things which happened in our house. Not that I was a scapegoat, but I was the softer gentler focal point that was needed, because focusing on the tough stuff was not possible for everyone in my family.

Over time I constantly felt like I was not able to be myself and needed to hide who I was and how I felt, in order to get by in a family of people who did not understand. I often stuffed food in my mouth to keep from talking, because I felt like no one listened to me. I felt as though when I did express myself it was brushed aside and I was left feeling invalidated, so I again turned to food to fight the battles I never felt like I could win anywhere else.

I could always win the battle against food, because it never fought back, it never argued and it never asked me to be anything except who I was. Food was my friend, my confident, it was the one thing I could count on, over and over again to listen and not have to hide from. Food began to hold all my power. Food became my power, the only thing I could control and yet the loss of control I had with it was devastating.

So how have I changed this power struggle to a relationship… well it is still a work in progress. But today when I feel like I am eating for emotional reasons, power reasons or reasons other than being hungry I think about it, I write about it, and I talk about. I express myself, even if only to myself. So those feelings which I once ate around, no longer control the new relationship I am having with my body and what it requires for energy.

Today, it is not a perfect science, and I don’t do everything right, but me and food are on the road to recovering a healthy relationship and I can live with that.

18. Where it all began

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Multnomah Falls!

January 3rd of this year I took a hike with my best friend while he was visiting from California. I was at the heaviest I had ever been and it was painful in every sense of the word.

I realized while climbing this switchback trail carved into the side of a mountain I was done. I was ready to make a lasting change and no longer wished to live my life as the person I had been pretending to be.

On January 7th, I signed up for a food tracker program and started doing workout videos and walking at home. I lost 10lbs rather quickly. Then the plateaus began. I have changed my workouts, my food and my life in order to finally feel like myself.

Now 3 months later, I have officially lost 30lbs. That is 10% of my body weight. A huge accomplishment. And it never would have began if I had never climbed that mountain and realized I was ready!

 

 

30 things for my 30th year

I was reading another blog recently and saw a similar post. I LOVED the idea and thought to myself I need something like this.

I will be 30 this October, and have so many things left on the “to do” list. I started wondering what was stopping me, and realized the answer was NOTHING!

My commitment to myself is to complete the items on this list before the end of my 30th year (so before Oct 2015).

1) Do a full on burpie – no modifications

2) Finish my Bachelors Degree / Write + Present my undergrad thesis

3) Climb a mountain (preferably Mount Lassen in CA, but any large mountain will do)

4) Visit my Canadian Family, for the first time in a long time

5) Take a road trip

6) Visit the “BIG 5” in Utah –  Canyonlands, Capitol Reef, Bryce Canyon, Arches, and Zion.

7) Say good bye to processed food at least 2 days a week consistently

8) Wear a 2 piece bathing suit

9) Go to Hawaii

10) Write my business plan for a dessert bar

11) Run a 5k

12) Pay it forward, more often

13) Say “yes” to everything for an entire day

14) Take a picture everyday for 100 days (in a row) Completed Nov. 2nd 2014

15) Finish my Latitude and Longitude tattoo

16) Ride an Elephant

17) Put a piece of Bubble Gum on the Market Theater Gum  wall in Seattle

18) Go back to Boxing

19) Learn how to really use my camera

20) Find a job which truly satisfies the person I am and apply for it

21) Write a song

22) Get one of those cartoon pictures drawn of myself

23) Write my will

24) Spend an entire day in silence

25) Throw an “Un- Birthday” Party as Marie Antoinette time period Alice in Wonderland characters (bring on the powdered wigs)

26) Release lanterns into the sky

27) Go Zip Lining

28) Camp on the beach next to a bonfire

29) Meet a stranger and ask them what their “story” is  Completed On Oct 27th 2014

30!) Set my last letter to my dad ablaze, put it in a bottle, and drop it in the ocean. Finally letting go.

My Win!

HP_209_Plank_248

 

For weeks I have been working towards holding full plank on hands and toes. I Started on my knees and then worked toward holding it longer and longer. When I finally felt like I could move to the next level I started holding full plank as long as I could, taking breaks on my knees if needed.

It hurt, I wanted to cry, my body shook. It felt like I was on fire at first. But I knew I could do it, I knew I would do it!

Two days in a row, I have held a full plank for 1 minute with no rests on my knees. I still shook and it still felt like fire in some of my muscles but I DID IT! It felt like a huge win!.

I would love to hear about your wins this week! Whether it was a weight loss, good feedback at work, helping a friend! Whatever it might be, how do you feel like you won this week?